Every parent or guardian raising a child has wondered at some point if the words they speak to their kid is actually registering in
their cognitive membrane. You gave the instruction and correction reinforcement over and over again yet the same mistakes are
committed by the child. This has been my plight for the past 13 years with my eldest son. I’ll call him Trooper for his online alias.
I referred to him as my Trooper off and on throughout the years since he hit 4 years old because of the life changes and moving around that we went through. Every change that was necessary to make, he never complained, never questioned “Why?” I’m sure his developmental stage may have a factor as many have referred to kids as being resilient. I found myself more uncomfortable with the changes then he ever exhibited.
As Trooper will turn 14 years old, I finally seen a break through just when I was wondering if he ever remembers anything I tell him. Trooper is a great kid, he loves to make me and other people laugh, he’s mostly an introvert like myself and will surprise you with his kind gestures at any given time.
This past mother’s day of 2018, he pleasantly surprised me. Some days before mother’s day, an elderly lady in our neighborhood rewarded Trooper with some cash as a tip for he helped carry her groceries bags to her front door. Fast-forward to Mother’s Day, I sent Trooper on an errand to walk to a store near by for some chalk that I needed.
Upon his return, Trooper presented to me his Mother’s Day gifts to me: Purple flowers (artificial) a thoughtful card, a purple bottled body spray and a Hershey chocolate bar! I was more than amazed at the fact that he remembered by absolute favorite color and to have a complete gift set that he chose all on his own, with money he earned for being kind to a stranger no less!
The words in the card were so true to a mother and child relationship and his own personal words to me made me finally see it. I finally seen a piece of the fruit of my labor. My hope was actually renewed. As my first born, I always wanted a son that would have this tight bond with me and would eventually be protective of me and give me hugs and kisses as I would push him away, but deep down loving every minute of his attention.
Okay, maybe watched to many movies with those scenes but nonetheless, I wanted my boy to show his love for me. Instead I wasn’t seeing any of it. At this point, I can say my expectations were not realistic and fair for him and I judged his outcome before I even gave him the chance. I thought of this and before I let myself get into “mommy failure” mind set, the Holy Spirit reminded me: “Kate, you’re still learning too, give yourself a break” It was a reassuring thought for sure.
Trooper has done many other thoughtful gestures and follower directions before but compared to those past times, this Mother’s Day gifts were a roll of thoughts and information that he processed to make such a kind gesture. I’m looking forward for many more fruit to pop up along the years to come.